tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post7553324203196326761..comments2019-09-13T02:22:51.394-07:00Comments on Karen's Make Believe World: Hawthorne HallKaren M. Petersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06972093977468313631noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-20599163311377478882013-03-28T15:47:31.788-07:002013-03-28T15:47:31.788-07:00Thanks, Katrina! I'm still working on it, but ...Thanks, Katrina! I'm still working on it, but I'm much closer to finishing now.Karen M. Petersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972093977468313631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-15330018174511305252013-03-28T15:30:09.012-07:002013-03-28T15:30:09.012-07:00Loved the cadence of this. How's this WIP goin...Loved the cadence of this. How's this WIP going? Is it a book I can read somewheres? Katrina L. Lantzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06871272394922775923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-77613910508787753032011-10-08T05:30:23.054-07:002011-10-08T05:30:23.054-07:00I went to college on a lovely old campus, and I en...I went to college on a lovely old campus, and I enjoy going back there so much. I am more appreciative now of the history, which made me particularly drawn to the section about the fountain.angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14974137283220034062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-90498936173789948252011-10-07T21:40:37.572-07:002011-10-07T21:40:37.572-07:00I love old campuses, especially back East. So much...I love old campuses, especially back East. So much character, as you captured here!Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-19457038743907702822011-10-07T19:15:05.705-07:002011-10-07T19:15:05.705-07:00there is always something mysterious about old cam...there is always something mysterious about old campuses rich with history. I walked the paths with you.<br /><br />Lovely piece, I hope you share more of your WIPCarriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03472645003197467754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-17165993339934808322011-10-07T14:30:23.369-07:002011-10-07T14:30:23.369-07:00I love the feel of old campuses and adore that you...I love the feel of old campuses and adore that you shared a slice of your WIP!Galit Breenhttp://theselittlewaves.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-8748869572994712682011-10-07T13:48:07.350-07:002011-10-07T13:48:07.350-07:00Good job! I agree with Barbara on your sentence st...Good job! I agree with Barbara on your sentence structure, but you did a magnificent job of making me feel as though I was walking alongside your character. Fantastic!Emily R. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03892444969625637064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-74816574595103659962011-10-07T13:12:23.567-07:002011-10-07T13:12:23.567-07:00squeaking shoes on tile, a fascinating but overloo...squeaking shoes on tile, a fascinating but overlooked fountain, a campus... <br /><br />and a sense of solitary.. somethin.. amongst the academic bustle.Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05407917830307384493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-23407583318604816582011-10-07T10:56:55.008-07:002011-10-07T10:56:55.008-07:00The layers of history on an old campus certainly d...The layers of history on an old campus certainly draw me in and are a great setting for a tale to spin! :>Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06572568205513606978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-853095476441564312011-10-07T10:35:43.919-07:002011-10-07T10:35:43.919-07:00Nicely done!
Great description and excellent det...Nicely done! <br /><br />Great description and excellent detail on the trees and the squeaky shoes and the the history making you feel at home.<br /><br />In terms of concrit, there is something jarring about the long sentence that begins this piece: "A walkway led between two old, white buildings into a wide courtyard where a large fountain gurgled and most students passed by without seeing the beautiful sculpted figures at the center."<br />I think it has to do with subjects: "walkway" and "students" are doing the action here, which makes "and" an awkward conjunction for me. <br /><br />Maybe even just break it into two: "A walkway led between two old, white buildings into a wide courtyard where a large fountain gurgled. Most students passed by without seeing the beautiful sculpted figures at the center."<br /><br />Just a thought!Barbara, via Write on Edgehttp://www.derebus.net/homenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4216836542001073732.post-15901520832131183432011-10-07T09:52:44.272-07:002011-10-07T09:52:44.272-07:00I would feel at home with all of those layers of h...I would feel at home with all of those layers of history too:) This was so nicely written, and I love the detail about the shoes squealing loudly on the tiles-excellent!!Valerie Boersmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08372768206512562126noreply@blogger.com