Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Trade

Today's Write on Edge prompt is memoir. And the assignment is to conjure an image, a person, a season. Or a moment.

Here's my attempt. In *approximately* 100 words. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.


The tremor was worse. It had given way to shaking. Terrifying, unnatural shaking. At the traffic light, I halted, waiting for the green. The light changed, but I held my breath, not exhaling until I was through the intersection. The car lurched. "Please," I begged. "Just a little more." With another shudder, we crested the hill, rolled into a turn at the next street, and steered into a parking lot. She waited for me. Pale blue and sparkling in the morning light. An hour later, I took her with me. My heart was heavy as I drove away from 100,000 miles of memories. And it was full of anticipation for a new adventure.

20 comments:

Anne said...

I love your line "100K miles of memories." It's amazing how we become attached to our cars, to the memories they hold. You did a great job of conjuring up this feeling! I recently traded my 12 yr old 100K miler and was surprised at how sad I felt leaving it behind as I drove away in the new car.

Betsy said...

I don't think you can ever forget 'that' car. It held so many memories... good and bad.

Green Goose said...

You got my attention pronto and what an emotional end! Also, this is my first stop at your blog (found you through the 100 word challenge) and I really groove it. Love your lack of definition. ; ) Keep up the writing!

Kathleen Basi said...

This is how my husband would deal with the death of a car. Fun to read. :)

John said...

My first pickup died on me far too soon (127k-ish), mid-roadtrip.

I still miss her.

adventures in alyssaland said...

You had me at tremor. Very vivid.

From one "none of the above blogger to another.

Amy said...

Oh yeah, I remember those cars. Loved their peculiar odors and quirks. Farewell, sweet princes!

Nicci @ Changing the Universe said...

I had the same experience with my car once upon a time! It's always sad to leave a car behind, they've been with us through so much :)

Galit Breen said...

Old clunkers always hold a special place in our hearts, don't they? Why is that?

Well done friend! Well done, indeed! :)

May said...

I love this! We recently "retired" our 1992 Volvo wagon and the feeling you outline here is still so fresh in my mind!

Renee said...

Aww, I've had those cars. It's so hard to walk away.

Natalie @ MamaTrack said...

Isn't it funny how attached we get to our cars? We recently traded in the one we brought our son home from the hospital in. I got a little choked up!

Mary Ann said...

I really like your post. I miss our old cars too. You conjured up a great memory!

Erin said...

I was a little scared at the 1st sentence and then kept reading and thought aww your poor little car! How sad, you did an excellent job!

angela said...

Leaving an old car and driving away with a new one is a little bittersweet. I think I'll feel like that when I (finally, years from now) move out of our first house.

earlybird said...

I like the way you created expectations of something completely different. I also liked 'as I drove away from 100,000 miles of memories.'

Jen Has A Pen said...

I love 100,000 miles of memories. :-) So descriptive. It tells me a lot about your experiences. Funny how these moments with inanimate objects can be so full of emotion. Been there, girl. :-)

Patricia Iles said...

Great post! Unexpected "Ode to a Clunker" concept that you conjured up for us here. I LOVE unexpected! I especially love unexpected done well. :D

Trish in AZ
http://writinginareddress.blogspot.com/2011/10/what-is-it.html

Jessica {Team Rasler} said...

Clever! I've only had one car I was sad to sell, but this definitely conjured up some of those memories!

CDG said...

You took me right back to the first car I ever said goodbye to.

A cara about which I still wax nostalgic at every opportunity.

Thank you.